Mike Banner Vs. Seni ’06

The Seni ’06 exhibition is the largest combat sports event in Europe. This year, for the first time, they had added a film festival to their list of attractions. As a Far East Films writer, I felt it was my duty to attend and check out the event. I also felt it was my duty to use my position as a FEF writer to blag myself some press passes.

Upon entering the NEC and realising we (my friend/driver and I) didn’t have to queue with the plebs, we breezed into the hall on the lookout for Claire (the PR lady). After some confusing directions we eventually found Claire and were given our passes. Being described as press and being given passes, almost made me feel like a ?proper’ journalist. There was no time to enjoy the warm, fuzzy feeling however, as the first showing of the day, ‘Hapkido‘, was about to start.

Including my friend and I, there were ten people (in a room that could seat over a hundred) watching ‘Hapkido’ which was rather a poor turnout for a cracking movie. There are a lot of excellent fight scenes and (a very young looking) Sammo Hung, Angela Mao and Carter Wong perform brilliantly in them. There’s also fun to be had spotting other future kung fu stars in tiny cameos, like Jackie Chan, Yuen Biao and Lam Ching-Ying. The only real negative was the DVD used for the screening. The burnt-on subtitles were a pain to watch (white subs on a background of white? argghh!) and the image quality seemed to change from scene to scene, from poor to terrible. I had been hoping we would be shown the upcoming, remastered Hong Kong Legends DVD. Alas, I’ll just have to wait for the DVD release like everyone else. ‘Hapkido’ was still a good way to start the day.

After a hearty kung fu meal it was time to grab an actual meal. So, I tucked into a very tasty plate of Thai satay chicken and noodles. As my friend pointed out, usually the only hope you can have from eating fast food from a van at an event like this is that it doesn’t cause you to spend the rest of your day expelling it. So, the fact that it was genuinely good was a bonus. After eating there was still time to kill before the next movie so we checked out the main exhibition. As someone who prefers sitting on his ass to actually kicking other peoples, the many stalls selling sporting clothes, equipment and weapons weren’t really of interest to me. What was of interest were the many martial arts demonstrations and competitions. There were kung fu displays, a small kickboxing tournament and extreme hugging AKA Judo to have a look at but it was soon time for the second movie of the day.

‘Arhats in Fury’ was the next film up. There was an even more pitiful turnout for this – a total of six people. Everyone watching the film seemed to thoroughly enjoy themselves. Through a mixture of dodgy dubbing, a bizarre monk suicide (after which the woman in front of me spent the next five minutes laughing) and the inability of characters in the movie to spot that one of the other characters was a woman in drag, until she appears in a pink dress (at which point my friend turned to me and said “Why’s that bloke got a dress on?”) there was much camp fun to be had. Indeed, as we were leaving the screening room, one of our fellow audience members turned to us and said “That’s the best laugh I’ve had in ages.” I wouldn’t go that far but there were some chuckles to be had, even if the film did sag in the middle.

After ‘Arhats…’ it was time for another wander. The highlights were an arm wrestling tournament (even though there were constant interruptions as the amateur contestants had the techniques explained to them) and an impromptu spot of ‘sticky hands’ in-between a couple of stalls.

Next up on the schedule was a question and answer session with Shaw Brothers legend, Gordon Liu. It was a pleasure listening to Mr. Liu talk. He answered the generic questions from the interviewer with charm and enthusiasm. He spoke (with occasional assistance from his translator) about how he changed careers, from accountant to movie star, what it was like working at Shaws and with his brother, Liu Chia-Liang. He talked, with warmth, about his “hero” Bruce Lee and how much he admired Jackie Chan and Jet Li for their love of kung fu. He wasn’t very complimentary when asked about the new crop of ‘action stars’. He claimed that too many weren’t ‘real’ martial artists, they only learnt the moves needed for the scene and they were just interested in the money. The one person he singled out for praise was Tony Jaa. He said that he could see, from watching his movies, that Tony really loved martial arts and cared about how it was portrayed on film. Gordon Liu came across as a thoroughly nice man, especially because he signed a copy of Impact magazine for me and posed for a photo with it.

Buoyed by our time spent with Gordon, we decided to celebrate with an ice cream before the start of the last film, ‘Warrior King’ (AKA ‘Tom Yum Goong‘). Now, judging by the lacklustre turnout for the other two films, I had thought we could stroll into another virtually empty screening room. The notion was, of course, foolish. When we arrived, ice cream cones in hand, there was a queue a couple of hundred people strong. This is where being a writer for FEF really started paying off. One call to Claire (the P.R. lady) and soon the words “Can these lads jump the queue? They’re press” were rolling from Claire’s mouth and we were strolling into the screening room. Excellent.

After a short warning from the festival organiser about recording any of the movie (a crime punishable by a battering from some burly wrestlers, he claimed) it was time for the Muay Thai action to begin. I’d seen ‘Warrior King’ 3 times beforehand but this was easily the most enjoyable viewing. The ‘oohs’, ‘aahs’ and cheers from the audience added another layer to my enjoyment. The film is a mess with some awful acting but the hard-hitting action and the excitement these scenes create mean this is still a good slice of entertainment. After the film finished there were more cheers and a hearty round of applause. It was an excellent end to an excellent day. I’m looking forward to Seni ’07 now.

Far East Films would like to thank the organisers of Seni ’06 for putting up with Mike for the day.